Softly dancing into the New Year.
Here it is, the end of 2019. Another year-cycle has come to an end. I try to sense and feel what it has brought me. It is like digging into an earth with so many layers and such a diverse and rich structure, that i cannot define it in a concise way. Of course i cannot. As if Life can be caught in one word or two. It’s been good and it’s been bad. I’ve felt utterly rich and I’ve been miserably poor. There has been dryness and heat, there have been storms and heavy rain. Old dreams have been buried, new plans have sprouted. And in between all that, one…
Broken.
Is it the full moon? Is it my periods? Or are those simply enlargers of something that already is, present in the deepest corners of my being? Today, I feel shattered. Shattered after a big explosion into one million tiny pieces that are now randomly lying all over. Too tiny and too many to ever, ever, be able to put them back together. Or so it feels. At my feet lie all the debris of the choices I’ve made in life, all the consequences of these choices, all that has happened in the last years, and in particular since the Fire. And where i would normally be able to gather…